


Hobbies

by Arquus_Malvaceae



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, One-Shot, Theft, and vaguely humorous, but it's not very violent, gunshot wound, tagged for violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-07 03:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18612376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arquus_Malvaceae/pseuds/Arquus_Malvaceae
Summary: Maneuvering out of a job with two three-foot-by-two-foot books strapped to his back was already going to be challenging without the complication of being chased by an overzealous security guard.





	Hobbies

     Remy hates being shot. Not that he’s come across a lot of folks who enjoy it (at least no one he’s interested in spending a lot of time with). Usually he’s quick enough, quiet enough,  _ good _ enough to avoid the risk. But every once in a while he does underestimate his target -- assumes they’re just your run-of-the-mill eccentric rich dude; or abandoned bunker with a stash of “lost” art and finely aged antiques. And instead finds himself realizing he’s accidentally discovered the secret identity of the head of a notorious international mafia; or that whoever built the bunker was more creatively paranoid than the boulder-slingers who booby-trapped that cave at the beginning of Indiana Jones. But sometimes, like this time for example, Remy LeBeau’s luck just plum runs out. Sometimes the rich guy is just a normal rich guy with a normal security crew employing normal people who get sick and have to take a day off, so a more thorough coworker takes over and decides to make an extra round through the massive personal library just in time to catch a stranger in a catsuit and trenchcoat carefully easing two volumes of the gigantic first edition copy of John James Audubon’s “Birds of America” into an oversized bag.

 

     And of course maneuvering out of a job with two three-foot-by-two-foot books strapped to his back was already going to be challenging  _ without _ the complication of being chased by an overzealous security guard. The only saving grace was that Remy was faster, and his billowing coat obscure his shape; so what might have been a more serious hit just lodge itself in his hip instead. Which isn’t going to be a  _ fun _ time healing, that’s for sure, but at least it didn’t hit anything that would leak and slowly poison him to death from the inside.

 

     Of course the other thing that sucks about it? Remy may have gotten away with the books, but now the owner knows they’re gone -- hell, he’d probably had a police report filed before Remy had even gotten back to his apartment. It was always a risk, taking high-profile items (like, say, a partial copy of the sixth most valuable book in the world). But at least if he’d been able to get out clean, the owner wouldn’t have noticed for long enough for Remy to come up with a backstory and off-load them at auction. But now? Folks would be on the lookout. There’s a chance he might be able to find a less than scrupulous buyer who’s more interested in getting their hands on the books than where they came from. But even if there was a reliable way to weed out the undercover law enforcement agents from the legitimate buyers, that wouldn’t get Remy even close to what he could net at auction. Not when all the buyers know he’s got no other options.

 

     Well, maybe there is  _ one _ other option, Remy considers now that the bleeding’s stopped and he’s (carefully) flipping through one of the volumes. He could always get into bird watching.

 

_ -End _

**Author's Note:**

> Entirely by random happenstance, this was published on John James Audubon's birthday! His "Birds of America" book was the seminal work on North American birds at the time and he did so much environmental work that the biggest bird-focused environmental group, the Audubon Society, is named after him. They do a lot of really good work not just helping folks learn about birds, but also fighting for the environment. You can learn more about John James Audubon's legacy, the Audubon Society's hard work, and birds by visiting audubon.com


End file.
